I've been spending a lot of time agonizing over where to go next... in life. I dunno what it is but I just keep flip-flopping between different possible career paths. And it's made all the more difficult by the fact that I haven't exactly figured out what I want to do yet.
Recently, I've thought about moving away from what I thought would be my rock-solid future in journalism. It's occurred to me that to have to constantly write to a deadline will quickly grow tiresome and essentially become a lifetime of homework. Not what I'm looking forward to. Plus, I've never turned in anything on time so that wouldn't exactly be an ideal situation. Therefore I readjusted. Mayhaps a life in publishing instead might not be too bad. Although, I have heard that the field is highly competitive; for that, I might as well tough it out in the fashion industry. The question I have to ask myself is what do I want to do, what would I enjoy doing daily? I know I want to stay close to the fashion field but I guess I just don't want to write about it. I think I'd actually really enjoy styling fashion editorials instead. Or working for a PR Agency, planning events. But it's hard getting into these avenues as they are mostly freelance or based on reputation. [Even photography might be fun but there's still the same problem]. Also, in that case, it would be beneficial to go to some fashion/trade school for the appropriate training. And having to search for all the proper companies and employers is just exhausting me. I don't even want to think about this anymore. I wish I could just skip to the part where I'm a successful adult.
And it's frustrating because I really wish I had spent some of my time in college doing something proactive or preparing for the real world in some way, which I suppose I never really believed would ever come. All those wasted summers could have been spent completing internships, exploring different jobs, and networking. Even while at school I should have joined all those extracurricular clubs I had wanted to. But who could possibly find the time? I swear, I don't know how those super students do it.
*sigh*
I do know the kind of lifestyle I envision myself living, the problem seems to be that I don't know the way to get there. I want the busy, exciting, perhaps even a little glamorous life in the city, among high profile people. I don't even want to be rich. I just want to be around the kind of people who share my same passions. I want celebrity without the celebrity. Of course, It doesn't help that I've been watching a lot of Sex and the City lately. That's kind of exactly what I want. (LoL) Not the sexual drama, but that sort of very networked lifestyle. They know a lot of people and cross a lot of industry boundaries, which is perfect for me and my indecisive nature. I'm interested in everything. I want to do everything.
Which leads me right back to journalism. It's the only way I can think of to get my foot in the door. And the easiest; job placement in competitive fields is just simpler as a graduate, I believe. I think if I just go into the magazine writing program at NYU I can get a job with an established publication, maybe meet people and transition into styling and event planning, or travel writing, or anything. With the connection I could possibly make, I might even make it into acting or modeling. Something fun. I just need to figure out that first step to take. *SadPanda*
:~+*AiDaN*+~:
Temper: 
frustrated
Melody: Evanescence - Sweet Sacrifice